I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
