You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
