oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
