Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
