Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
