i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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