So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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