Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
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I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
