He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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