Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
