It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize