Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
