hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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