if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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