Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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