Where are you?
In a non slutty way
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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