All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
