Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize