Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
