the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
