If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
