you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
