I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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