I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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