Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
