So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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