to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
