i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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