the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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