Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Drunk is not a location!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
