Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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