I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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