This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
