So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I smell stomach acid.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
