mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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