Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
