You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
