so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
