He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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