Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Floor bacon is actually really good
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
