Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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