I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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