just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
