I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
