I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
