Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So many bounce houses so little time
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
