if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
