why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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