I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
