Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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