Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
