I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize