He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
