she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
