I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
