so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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