i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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