You made me cry and you don't even care
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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