I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
