I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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