Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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