Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
That accounts for only three of the penises
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
