I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
