I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
