Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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